I was speaking with a friend earlier today who is currently working through challenges in her life regarding business, family and her knee. What we found out through our dialogue was that ALL of them are connected to one another.
So you may ask, “How is that possible?”
Have you ever fallen asleep watching television only to wake up in the middle of the night sort of annoyed only to realize the television is still on and there is an uber buff guy with a baseball cap complete with a pony tail working out on an exercise machine talking non stop complete with nerve grating music?
It wasn’t until you woke up and became aware that the television was annoying before you could then make a choice to shut it off and go to bed.
Here’s the deal, anything we do, say or bring into our lives first begins with a thought. Whether we are aware of these thoughts or not, “white noise” is still playing in the background.
What I have found with both myself and working with countless clients with knee pain over the past 10+ years is a tremendous fear of “moving forwards.” The fear permeates all aspects of the person’s life and it ends up freezing them in place, literally, and the knee pain is just a physical manifestation of that fear.
So here is what was realized in the dialogue with my friend…she has fear about moving forward in her business, she has fear about confrontation with her sister, and she has fear about taking a step forward in her body from an old knee injury. Now this sounds terrible to talk about all this fear however, “you can eat an entire elephant, one bite at a time.”
So each week we talk about the different aspects of this fear that is holding her in place looking for the universal thread that will unwind everything. It also helps to come at it from a different perspective each time we talk.
Here was the big break through for her (and for me) this week…
There is a tendency for us to go external for responsibility and internal for help and what needs to happen is go external for help and internal for responsibility
So what exactly does this mean? When ever we talk about her moving forward, she talks about all the reasons WHY that can’t happen. In essence the blame for her goes external for reasons why making her powerless and not able to do anything about it. At the same time she goes internal for help meaning she tries to figure everything out on her own. In the process getting herself overwhelmed, confused, frustrated, and burnt out. As a result she doesn’t move forward afraid to take that step.
The light bulbs started going on after this statement when I realized how this can be turned around.
By going internal with the responsibility, by NOT pointing the finger at anyone for why she isn’t moving forward and taking full responsibility for the fact that she made all the choices that got her into the position that she is in right now is the first step. At the same time going external for help. She can look for help from family (maybe not her sister), friends, and colleagues who can give her encouragement, support, and a different perspective when things get a “little crazy between the ears” as they do from time to time.
Letting go of the former and adopting the latter my friend is going to be able to remove the mental “knee brace” of excuses and feel empowered by standing on her own two feet making choices to take that step forward anytime she wants.
Embodying this approach will allow anyone including knee pain sufferers to go beyond their knee braces.
I enjoyed this article. I recognized the connection between my fear of moving forward in my business. Now I see there is fear in other areas in my life that were not as obvious. The explanation about external help and internal responsibilitygave me an ah ha moment.
Wow, I just entered a comment after doing the ABCDE exercise (thinking) and came to this link on knee braces because I am looking for a brace (theraputic taping is what I think I might get done; right now, I just hold my knee with my hand when I sit). Instead of an article on physical braces, I find an article that reinforces my first comment on how the work with thinking and my knee is the same work I need to do in the rest of my life. I love syncronicity!
Thanks again Bill!